by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Saturday, June 20, 2009

THE SPICE OF LIFE

I attended a high school graduation recently and the speeches by both students and faculty exhorted the graduates to ardently pursue their careers, their dreams and success. And all of that is appropriate and welcomed.

But there was one glaring ingredient missing, one thing not mentioned at all and without which the other things will likely not mean everything they should It was the little word that gives a big kick to our lives: JOY.

The Random House Dictionary defines JOY as :

"the emotion of great delight caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying."

And like all other emotions that we experience, it is based on our evaluation of what we are perceiving.

For example: If two people are waiting for a bus and it is slow in coming, one may feel annoyance at the delay and perceive an inefficient transit system...and one could feel JOY, perceiving the delay as providing more time to gaze upon and admire the beautiful gardens in the park across the street. One perception will put a frown on your face, the other a smile; one suggests the world sucks, the other that it is wonderful.

It is clear, as my wise friend tells me, that JOY comes from within, that it is not something that can be given to you. The reality of the bus delay is the same for all. Whether you frown or smile is up to you, and it depends on a myriad of attitudes, values and priorities you have about yourself, what you are doing with your life, the beauty of nature, etc.

The great popularity of music, dance and the other arts attests to the great JOY we feel when experiencing them. They serve no other significant purpose in our lives.

Note that JOY is both a cause and effect. It is the effect of the sum of all our perceptions of what has happened to us before, all that we have thought before, and is an integral part of the cause of how we will feel about what happens tomorrow. Simply put: Smile today and you are motr likely to smile tomorrow.

When I was a child, my father would ask me when I went to bed what I knew then thatI didn't know that morning. It was his way of promoting in me the value of knowledge. It seems to have worked. There is a second question we would be well served to ask: What did you enJOY today that you have never enjoyed before?

Man has the capacity to think and plan long range, and it is appropriate for us to think of long range goals. But man also lives in the moment, and arguably the long range is but a collection of those moments The wise and happy man lives in the moment as well as looking to the future.

In this sense, JOY has been given a bum rap. It is generally thought of as only something momentary, transient, contrasted with the long range values of careers and hard work and success. But it is quite the reverse. JOY is what permits you to relish and savor your lifelong achievements and brings you nan's ultimate reward: happiness.

It is not surprising that the subject of JOY was absent from the high school graduatioon. What it is, where it comes from, its vital and enduring role in our lives, are subjects notoriously absent from school curriculums. Apparently, to today's educators, not considered worthy enough, important enough, for contemplation and study.

What did you enJOY today that you have never enjoyed before?

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