by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Thursday, August 13, 2009

THE ARTIST

How many times a day do I hear something equivalent to, "You can't do it that way, you can't say that, you can't go there." Can't, can't, can't. Restraints, constraints, restrictions, protocols. It's as if all human behavior has been pre-packaged, pre-programmed, pre-orchestrated, and all you have to do is push the right buttons and, ouila!, success. And the reverse: push the wrong buttons and, ouila!, disaster.

Horsefeathers. I not only never accepted that confined way of thinking, but I would fight to the end not to have my free spirit cajoled or curtailed by what others - no matter how many - think is the "right" way for me to do something. And history has proven me right.

I was told "you can't open a New York law firm without already having clients on retainer"...I was told "you can't get your own New York radio show or tv show without extensive prior experience"...but all of those things happened, and more.

I suppose one reason for all those rules about how the game is played is to relieve responsibility for your not succeeding. After all, if you do it by the book and it doesn't work out the way you'd like it to, hey, not your fault.

Another reason may be that making your own decisions takes thinking, and many (most?) don't like to do that too much, too often and/or don't do it very well.

But to me, the major reason for not doing things your way is the failure to know and appreciate the great great joy of living YOUR life YOUR way...the strength and courage and self-esteem it brings you, and the positive impact it can have on your sense of life and sense of self worth.

If my life is a work of art that I am creating, then once I design it, I paint it my way...my colors, my shadings, my patterns. If I see myself as twelve feet tall and orange, that is how I will appear. Then and only then can it be said that the painting is totally irrevocably me and mine.

The next time someone tells you "you can't do it that way," remind them who the artist of your painting is.

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