by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A CASTLE OF LIES

"You're my one and only true love."

That's where the lie begins. There is no one true love. There are millions of them spread all over the globe. There are a few up at the North Pole, a few at the South Pole...and hordes of them in between. There are some within walking distance of where you are right now.

From that lie mushrooms the tenuous ideas of marriage and exclusivity (monogamy). When I speak of marriage, I am not speaking of setting up a home, a shelter, a family. Those are treasures. I am speaking of the legal and social "binding" that marriage has come to entail. The subliminal sense of ownership found in the words "my wife", "my husband" as in the words "my house", "my car". It is abhorrent to imply in the slightest that we own another human life.

From that lie mushrooms the idea of exclusivity, sexual monogamy. You can't legally drive my car without my permission, can you? Only I may physically express my love for her (him). Only I may copulate, cohabit, bill and coo, sweet talk with my baby doll, my honey bunch, my chickabiddy, my buttercup, my snookums. And when that one true love leaves or dies, emptiness, loneliness, a void. Aaaaaaaaaagh!

Some religions, perhaps to promote the world as black with only they to light the way, have cast sex, other than for child bearing, to be ungodly, evil, wayward and wanton, and those who engage in it to be in a fallen state. They have convinced some that the price of physical pleasure is guilt...and that only they can expunge it. Was that the reason for denying the reality of their God's creation?

M-o-n-o-g-a-m-y is not normal. Human nature is benefitted in many ways from sexual activity. 85% of the world's cultures endorse sexually polygamous relationships. Adultery universally abounds. Virtually all animals (from whence we mushroomed) are sexually promiscuous. Even birds, once thought to be the paradigm of monogamy, have been shown via new DNA testing, to enjoy a bit of concubinage (hanky panky).

And why not? Loving and lovemaking are lovely experiences... enjoyable, delightful, gratifying, titillating, exultant, human activities. Why should they be restrained, restricted, limited, curtailed? Why are we ashamed to openly admit and acknowledge our sexual desires? Why do we publicly treat sex as something indecent to have attention on, when privately we have a heap of attention on it? What psychological disturbances does that attempted secrecy and masquerade create? What psychological weakness is revealed by our prevailing refrain, "All or nothing at all"? Why not "the more, the merrier"?

The ancients, including Biblical heroes, engaged in polygamy. It is said that King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines...and his name is synonymous with Wise Man, is it not? We've come a long way, baby...and it is time to head home.

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