by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

CLOSE OUT THE CLOSINGS

This may not be the most important post I have ever written, but it highlights foolishness in society's norms that hide true feelings behind meaningless convention even in unimportant matters.

It's about the way we've been taught to close business letters:

YOURS TRULY...what does that mean? I always tell you the truth? Ha! And what does Yours mean? You are mine? To do what with?

GODSPEED and MAY GOD BE WITH YOU...sorry, not your choice

BEST REGARDS...to whom, from whom, in regard to what? And how does that differ from warm regards, kind regards and just good ole fashioned regards?

CORDIALLY...compared to what, ruthlessly?

SINCERELY...I know what that conveys, "I really really really mean what I wrote"... compared to the usual "I mean 47% of what I wrote"

RESPECTFULLY...how can you respect me when you don't really really really know me?
And respect me for what?

FAITHFULLY YOURS...I haven't a clue what that means

PRAYERFULLY...what are you praying for? That I pay your bill? OK, let's pray:
"Kol Nidre, vesaurey, vecharomey, ve kenuyey?" That was good!

And please, don't Dear me, I am not interested in how attracted you are to me, especially if you're threatening to foreclose on my home.

Then, again, maybe we can work out a deal.

AS USUAL,

Ray

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