by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A DEMON IS LOOSE

It is not surprising that the Biblical demon of pride has survived for so long. Despite thousands of years of Biblical admonitions and countless preachings that pride is a precursor to misfortune and disaster, we continue to feel the wonderfully gratifying feeling of pride when we believe that we have done a job well. Traditional religious teaching is that we err when we praise ourselves rather than God for our acomplishments.

But that view is predicated on the mistaken belief that feeling proud is something we choose to do...and that we can just as easily choose not to feel proud. That is not so. Pride is an emotion and like all other emotions, it is an automatized response to our perception of reality. When we perceive that we have done a job well we choicelessly experience nature's built in self slap on the back, the gratifying feeling of pride.

Of course, if our perception is mistaken, either totally or to a significant degree, others will see our pride as false pride. But that is a misnomer since the feeling of pride is not false, it is real, but undeserved. When someone chooses to display a feeling of pride without an underlying perception of accomplishment, perhaps for the purpose of impressing others, that is false pride. More accurately, that is a lie. And if the religious admonition is recast to "A lie goeth before a fall," I am in full accord. A lie does precede a fall, a fall in self-esteem when one realizes the reality, consciously or otherwise, that he or she is not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, to be successful in life without faking it.

So who then have an interest in slurring pride and trying to convince us that that the good ought not feel good about themselves? Who fosters the notion that congratulating others for the good they do is an act of beneficence, but congratulating oneself is a moral degradation?

All those who wish to control you, to have power over you. The confidence and self-esteem that pride engenders is their enemy. The individualist who believes in and values himself or herself is harder to conquer than a horde of conformists. Their attack is predictable: “You are only one. Think more of the many others than you do of yourself. Sacrifice your standards, your dreams, your rewards, so that all may be seen as equally worthy and deserving. Reject vanity, conceit and egoism in the name of goodness.” Those who surrender their pride surrender a part of their selves and are easy targets for the marauders in our midst.

To replace pride, the power seekers have ennobled humility to the stature of a virtue. The dictionary defines humility as “the state of being not proud, lowly, unassuming, insignificant, meek.” No wonder it is found close to humiliate, defined as “injuring someone’s self-respect.”

This curious question remains: Can you be both proud and humble?

W. S. Gilbert joyfully answered it this way: “You’ve no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself—and how little I deserve it.”


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