by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

THE NICE TRUTH

Of course, it's nice to be nice, and nice to be treated nicely. Of course, we don't wish to hurt people we love. But "nice" should not include, as it does today for so many, lying to someone so as to not hurt his (her) feelings or to make him feel good. The argument predicated on the question "what's wrong with a little lie if the other person doesn't know it's a lie and will never find out?" holds no water.

And here's the reason: lies take the people to whom they are told out of reality and deposit them in nonreality...where there is nothing of possible value to their lives nor to yours. The admiration or love a person voices for you can give you no pleasure if it is based on lies you have told that person of what you have or haven't done, of what you truly feel and believe, of who you really are. The person they are loving does not exist...nothing exists in nonreality. And the admiration or love is specious as well, without reality to give it substance.

Human beings use their bank of knowledge to make decisions as to what actions to take. Counterfeit money in the bank will result in misguided, valueless, potentially harmful and dangerous, decisions.

The price paid by the person who feels the need to lie to "save face" and avoid embarrassment, or uses lies in an attempt to gain undeserved values, is high: the loss of confidence and self-esteem in his ability to deal with the realities of his life, confidence and self-esteem critical to the attainment of happiness and well-being.

The Bible says "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." (John 8:32) And so it shall, free of the fear of slipping into the living death and vacuum of nonreality. Lies are not nice that way.

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