EAT UP!

If, indeed, the proverbial wisdom that "you are what you eat" is true, then cannibals have the best diets on the planet since you should logically and enthusiastically eat what you want to be and I don't think many of us want to be cows or pigs or ducks or snails.

After all, do not pregnant women eat hamburgers to enhance their breastfeeding capabilities? Are not Olympic swimmers known to gorge on fish to increase their speed and improve underwater endurance? Why do skydivers tend to favor duck soup and eagle salads?

The Obama Administration, which came to power calling for change in America, may soon act to legalize the practice of eating other humans with the view of making America healthier, reducing health care costs and aiding its economic recovery program.

Farfetched you think? I don't. The Administration has already talked about "death panels" that will withhold medical care from the elderly who are seriously ill. It has floated the idea that special benefits be given to couples who have no more than one child, on the theory that the air humans exhale contains carbon dioxide that is polluting and warming the planet. A well known super liberal has called for the outright murder of millions on the ground the planet is overpopulated. Can the reinstatement of cannibalism be far behind?

Of course, Congressional hearings will be held to discuss and hopefully resolve some of these meaty issues:

Will mixed cannibalism be permitted...that is, will whites be permitted to eat blacks, and vice versa?

If a white does eat a black, is he still white or is he now black?

Will you be guilty of discrimination if you eat only those of a certain gender or age or religion?

Will you be permitted to eat only humans already dead, on the theory that an individual's right to life guaranteed by the Constitution gives him freedom from feasting while he is alive, but expires when the individual expires?

Will we all have to have tattoos detailing our sugar content, iron deficiency and nondigestable implants?

Will fast food chains be allowed to offer family discounts... "eat two members of the same family and the third member is free"?

Though stories of cannibalism go back to the Bible and it is often thought to have been engaged in only by a few remote uncivilized tribes, in fact it has been practiced in China, Russia, North Korea and other civilized countries as recently as World War II.

Will "what do you want for dinner?" be soon replaced by "who do you want for dinner?"...?