An oft-repeated admonition is in regard to the importance of keeping your eyes on the prize...on your desired goal or reward...the hoped for payoff of your effort. The idea is thar the prize will provide you with the incentive and impetus to continue your quest in the face of obstacles, hardships and setbacks.
And that is good advice when the prize is a concrete one: a beautiful car, a large bank account, a grand home. Those are easy to be seen.
But what of prizes that are not tangible...like happiness, love, confidence, courage, self esteem. If you want to keep your eyes on those prizes, where do you look?
Some would suggest that you cast your gaze at others who have attained those prizes. That approach may occasionally work, but it often gets entwined with jealousy, contempt, antipathy, suspicion, and resentment...all of which serve to lower self esteem and make it more difficult to maintain the effort and commitment necessary to win those abstract prizes.
Some would suggest that you cast your gaze inward to see what errors you made, what wrong turns you took, that placed those prizes as yet out of your reach. That approach may occasionally work, but it often gets derailed by regret, remorse, feelings of ineptitude, even self loathing, that lessen self esteem, etc. etc.
My advice? Stop trying to see the unseeable. Happiness, confidence, courage and the like are not purchaseable at the supermarket. They are the intangible and invaluable rewards that come to you automatically from doing your best at:
* living your life your way in accordance with your standards
. being true to who you are in every choice you make
* measuring your success by the quality of your effort and not by the response of others to it.
Abstract prizes require you to focus not on them, but on what they are the effects of.
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