by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Saturday, March 13, 2010

DOUBLETALK

WHAT THEY SAID - (WHAT THEY DIDN'T SAY)

We will not be undersold - (we all charge the same)
We try harder - (and someday we'll get it right)
Let your fingers do the walking - (and running up the telephone bill)
It takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin' - (tickin', not workin')

99% pure, it floats - (and so does a dead fish)
When you care enough to send the very best - (and pay the most)
Good to the last drop - (good we said, not great)
A diamond is forever - (you ain't getting it back even after the divorce)

Think small - (car, that is, not price)
Nothing runs like a Deere - (or dies like a deer)
Merrill Lynch is bullish on America - (ever been to Pamplona?)
Say it with flowers - ("I had not the foggiest idea what to buy you")

All the news that's fit to print - (and all that isn't)
If you got it, flaunt it - (we haven't seen It for years)
Finger lickin' good - (what you expect from greasy fat?)
Because I'm worth it - (as I'll show you later)

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