Did you hear about the Navy captain who was relieved of his command of the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier for allowing "raunchy, slur-laden" videos to be shown on the ship over a number of years. Raunchy, debauched, licentious. How low can you go! (Don't visualize that.)
Pity the poor sailors exposed to impure, bawdy, stuff like that...their pure virginal hearts stained by devilish sexual thoughts. Where is Mary Poppins when you need her?
(I understand that the videos contained some anti-gay slurs. That is inappropriate. Enough to warrant the captain being relieved of command???? Maybe. But not for the sexual stuff.)
It is reported that during the four years the videos were show, 473 sailors masturbated aboard ship, 1,748 had wet dreams, and a whopping 11,316 recalled having intercourse with their spouses. And 3 actually wondered whether their mothers ever had had sex. Truth be known, with only 11 aircraft carriers in our fleet, America's security hung in the balance.
Some in the Pentagon are now urging that communal showers be banned, together with genital-bulging jockey underwear and swimsuits. We are to become an asexual military, society, nation, world! Can't have the President going to bed at night wondering about the state of his affairs when he should be thinking about affairs of state.
Sure.
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