Here is the new phony language of the Customer Service Representative. It is the robot-like song-and-dance you are victim to when you call any major company to inquire about its product/service, question an invoice they have sent, etc.
Listen to the music:
"Thank you for calling XYZ Corporation"
(Can't you figure this out by yourself?)
"If you would like to continue in English, press 1"
(I hope you didn't understand what I just said)
"If you would like to continue in Spanish, empuja dos"
(And I won't have to handle your annying, complaining call)
"This call may be monitored or taped for quality purposes"
("May be" means 1 in 17,000)
"Your estimated wait time is about 5 minutes"
(How would we know?)
"Pay close attention as our options have changed"
(Changed them some time in 1998. But it spreads out the call and we take fewer calls each day)
"Please key in or speak your 22-digit account number"
(About 30& of our calls can't find it and have to hang up+
"It's in the lower left hand corner of your bimonthly statement "
(Love that one, too, no one ever has it)
"Did you say 233967545637530098H55?"
(Probably not)
"I can't hear you, I will have to transfer you"
(That' was a short one)
"Who am I speaking with?"
(They're all the same)
"For confirmation purposes, what is your last 4?"
(No, not children)
"And what number are you calling from?"
(As if my Call Waiting isn't working today)
"What's your mother's maiden name?"
(Was she ever a maidenBut you shouldn't give that out over the phone)
"How can I help you?"
(Quick, I'm already late for lunch)
"Oh, I have to transfer you to another department. Thank you"
(Whew, really hungry, maybe sushi today)
"If you get disconnected..."
(Which you probably will)
"...call back"
(Just joking).
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRing
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