PRESIDENTIAL RULES

I got to thinking...with the mess our country is in...if I could choose the next President, who would it be?  Who was it that could straighten us out and get us back on the right path?  And the answer totally surprised me.  It was someone who never indicated an interest in the job, somebody who actually thought it was one of the worst jobs imaginable.  It was someone who has had not one day of political experience.

Who?  Me.  That's right, me.  And these are the rules that will be implemented on my first day in office:

1.  Any public employee who lies to the American people once...once...is fired.
2.  Any public head of a department who incurs an expense one cent greater than the budget I set for that department is fired and will pay that excess out of his or her own personal funds.
3.  Any public employee who refers to anyone by reference to his skin color, ethnicity, religion, age or wealth, is fired.
4.  Every member of the Armed Forces who is stationed in a country with which we are not in a declared war will be brought back to our country.
5.  No foreign aid will be paid.
6.  Every benefit program paid for by general revenues will be terminated.
7.  Our border will be shut and every person found to be in our country illegally will be placed on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean inhabited solely by other illegals.
8.  Anyone who initiates force against another person will be placed on an island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean inhabited solely by other initiators of force.
9.  Every person shall be free to ingest what he wishes, work for the wages he wishes, run any business he wishes, and marry as many mates from as many genders as he wishes.
10.  All income, sales and estate taxes will be made voluntary.
11.The U.S. will withdraw from the U.N. and the U.N. will withdraw from the U.S.
12. Public schools will teach courses on logical thinking, how to be happy,  proper parenting, philosophy, choosing a career. and automobile care.
13.The words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance will be replaced by the words "under the Constitution".

 Remember, when you walk into the polling booth:

               A VOTE FOR ME IS A VOTE FOR YOU.