We are told that we humans are an unhappy lot, unhappier than those who came before us, that we live under great psychological stress, that so many of us need antidepressants to function when awake and sleeping pills to help us sleep. I have my own view as to one mistake we make that may be a major contributor to this woeful state of affairs.
I am forever deluged with stories about how someone is upset by how a` friend or someone in their family acted. "After all I have done for her, can you believe my sister did this and that...and it really ticks me off." "Why in hell's name, does my son want to be a this when he could make a lot more money being a that? He drives me crazy." On and on, endlessly.
And therein is the error. We tend to base our psychological state of health ON WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING rather than solely and completely ON WHAT WE DO. Our quest for happiness is ensnared in the unapproved behavior of others. And because we cannot flip a switch and change what others choose to do, we feel victimized, cursed, and powerless to have things our way, the way "things ought to be." . Result? S-T-R-E-S-S.
It is not within our province to decide how others behave. There is no way things ought to be. There is only the way things ARE. We may like or not like what others do...but we have no right to demand anything. We live our lives, and others live theirs.
It is one of the glorious aspects of human life that we each have the free will to create our own individual identity. And we pay heavily when we do not recognize`and honor that natural fact of life.
I am forever deluged with stories about how someone is upset by how a` friend or someone in their family acted. "After all I have done for her, can you believe my sister did this and that...and it really ticks me off." "Why in hell's name, does my son want to be a this when he could make a lot more money being a that? He drives me crazy." On and on, endlessly.
And therein is the error. We tend to base our psychological state of health ON WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING rather than solely and completely ON WHAT WE DO. Our quest for happiness is ensnared in the unapproved behavior of others. And because we cannot flip a switch and change what others choose to do, we feel victimized, cursed, and powerless to have things our way, the way "things ought to be." . Result? S-T-R-E-S-S.
It is not within our province to decide how others behave. There is no way things ought to be. There is only the way things ARE. We may like or not like what others do...but we have no right to demand anything. We live our lives, and others live theirs.
It is one of the glorious aspects of human life that we each have the free will to create our own individual identity. And we pay heavily when we do not recognize`and honor that natural fact of life.
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