DESIRES

Man is desire driven.    Every action he takes every waking moment is fueled by desire.  Even his sleeping time can be said to be driven by his desire to be well-rested, to be more alert, to be more energetic, the next day.  Man is the only life species with free will, and it is that aspect of his nature that empowers his desires.  Man is free to choose which desires he wishes to pursue, and the extent to which and how he will pursue them.

  

When he attains a desire, man experiences a measure of contentment, of satisfaction, and of pride.  When he fails, or perceives himself as failing, in attaining a desire, he feels a measure of ineptitude and discontent.   The frequency and scope and importance of his successful and unsuccessful desire attainments play a significant role in his overall happiness or unhappiness.

It is critical in your desire to learn about desires that you recognize that virtually no desire is a solitary one, though it may be perceived as the ultimate one.  Rather, each desire must be seen as but one of a related package of desires…and that one unsuccessful desire within that package may preclude the attainment of any other desire in the package.

For example, you desire to be rich.  That can be perceived as your ultimate desire.  To attain it, you must also have the desire to choose your method of attaining it, the desire to invest the time and energy and money it will take to attain it, the desire to risk failure and to bear possible ridicule and loss of self esteem, etc.  The attainment of your ultimate desire is dependent to a great extent on your attainment of each of the other desires in its package.

At the beginning, as an infant, man’s desires are few: food to satisfy hunger, affection to ease pain.  As man grows older, the number and complexity of his desires increases geometrically, to the point that it is likely difficult or him to identify all of them.  There may be subconscious psychological pressures that hide certain desires from himself.  He may have desires that, to a degree, conflict, or to him seem to conflict, with each other:  he may wish to be both just and compassionately forgiving, assertive and cooperative, spiritual and rational, independent minded and just one of the boys.  He may keep certain desires secret from family and friends because he believes they would not approve of them.  He may have unremitting desires that he knows are immoral and improper.  He may not be certain whether his desires are thoughtful or emotion driven.

Magnifying the problem is the fact that little or no attention is given in our educational systems to the whole issue of desire, though critical to the shaping of your own personal identity, and vital to your quest for happiness.  Desires are often relegated to the “too personal to reveal” list.

Overrun with desires propelling him in various directions, it is understandable for a man to step on the brakes, and just drift unproductively aimlessly. Or, to discard his desires, or at least to stack them away, and accept society’s desires as his own.  Society is willing, nay anxious, to tell him which desires he ought have and how and when he ought pursue them.  Social proprieties, normalities and conventions replace his true desires.  Is it any wonder that so many are stressed and discontented with life, uncertain of who they really are and what they truly want out of life…the path to fulfillment and happiness hidden from view?

The journey to a new and better life, more satisfying life, begins as it did in infancy…with a clean slate.  On that slate we must list our life’s desires, slowly, specifically, carefully, clearly.  For it is those desires that are of preeminent importance in shaping the quality and value of our life.  The truer, the deeper, those desires are, and the loyalty we have toward them, the greater the likelihood of our attaining them.  They must never be surrendered to the desires of others, nor relegated to a position of unimportance.  Compatible desires  are the cornerstone of all successful human relationships: marital, business, social.   Your chosen desires must, each moment, be given the honor and prestige of which they are truly deserving.