by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Sunday, February 28, 2010

FORTUNATE-LY

An 8.8% earthquake hit Chile and within minutes President Obama offered American aid and relief to to the victims and to the country.

Fortunately for the Chileans:

* the 35,000,000 Americans who lived below the poverty line last week all inherited fortunes or won lotteries

* the 10% of our workforce who were unemployed last week all found jobs

* the over 3,000,000 Americans, 40% of whom were under the age of 18, who were reported homeless last year have all been given permanent complimentary rooms at Las Vegas hotels

* medical breakthroughs last week cured all those who had cancer, Alzheimer's, heart disease, Parkinson's, mental disorder or any other disease, illness, ailment, affliction, disorder, infirmity, sickness, allergy and malady...and banished all health problems forever from our shores

* the 46,000,000 Americans who had no health insurance last week now don't need it

* the number of American children under the age of 18 who are reported missing each week in our country...2,000...has been reduced to -0-, and the 800,000 reported missing last year have all been found alive and well

* the expensive wars in Iraq, Pakistan and Afghanistan have ended victoriously and our troops are all safely back home with their loved ones

*our $15,000,000,000,000 national debt has been turned into a $15,000,000,000,000 surplus!

Fortunately for the Chileans, America is a fortunate country.

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