by Ray Newman, radio and television commentator, attorney, educator, author

Saturday, February 27, 2010

TOGETHER NOW: WE WERE WRONG

When I was a child, it was somewhat jocularly said that the three hardest words for a man to say were "I love you". Today, it is unquestionably true that the three hardest words for anyone to say are "I was wrong".

Excuses...the spin...on why what we once said turned out not to be right, are legendary:

"Perhaps I didn't make my position fully clear"
"You don't get the full meaning of what I said" (aka "You are wrong")
"The world is different now"
"How could I know people would act so stupidly" (aka "They are wrong")
"I was just kidding"

But "I was wrong"? NEVER.

Now I suppose that somewhere deep within the dark hidden dungeons of our minds we all know that we are neither omniscient nor clairvoyant. That is inherent in the nature of our species. Our brains have not been programmed to only recognize and believe truth. We are born without knowledge...all of which must be acquired by us through a process of education. That process is not immune from error. And our nature gives us the free will to believe what we will, truth or falsity. Education is a demanding endeavor. And if knowledge of today is subject to error, clairvoyant knowledge of tomorrow even more so.

There is no need to itemize all of the numerous reasons for avoiding the "I was wrong" confession at all costs...including fear of embarrassment, loss of self esteem, loss other people's admiration, losing future elections. They are well known. They all stem out of a mistaken belief that truths are subjective rather than objective, and that what we hold in our brain to be true, what we want to be true, should guide our actions rather than what is in fact true.

So here are two positive spins to help correct that error:

Alexander Pope: "A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."

William C. Magee: "The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything."

It is not demeaning in any way to have made an error. It is demeaning to know you have made an error and fail to correct it.

Am I wrong about that?

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