Why do we marry for life? Hey, I don't know what I want for dinner tomorrow night, how am I supposed to know whom I want to eat it with 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 50 years from now? I don't even know who I'm going to be years from now. We all change, don't we?
Is there any other commitment we make that is for life? When we buy a house, do we vow to live there for the rest of our lives? When we take a job, do we...would we...promise never ever to quit? Don't we switch careers, the color of our hair, our physicians? Our religion? Our politics?
Close to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. I am surprised it's not higher. When you add in the marriages that would end in divorce but the parties stay together for the children's sake or because of religious or financial reasons, the percentage is no doubt much higher. And I think understandably so.
Mexico City has just had a bill introduced that would allow term marriages of 2 or more years. I understand that under Sharia law in Iran, marriage terms of 2 or more days are permitted.
Now, I do not know why marriages have traditionally been for a` lifetime. It could be prompted by a desire for sexual exclusivity, although for many a lifetime marriage extends far beyond sexual activity. It could emanate out of a desire for visibility and presence and being part of something "larger than ourselves. It could come from a desire to provide children with stability. Or it might come from social expectation and habit.
Regardless, seems to me there is room for another option: term marriages with the length of the term chosen by the marrying couple, and with a minimum period of, say, 5 years, to avoid stripping this important relationship of all its values. Renewals for additional periods would be permitted.
"Honey, will you marry me, again?" may become the most loving words to say.
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